“In order to love others, you must first love yourself.”
With that said I want to wish you guys a Happy Valentine’s Day! Today is the perfect day to celebrate love! The love you have for your family, friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, spouse, your pets even, but most importantly, the love you have for yourself. And if you struggle in that area, fear not, because today I’ll share with you 5 tips that will help you learn how to love yourself.
Learn How To Love Yourself
1. Compliment Yourself
First step in learning to love yourself is complimenting yourself. It’s a pretty great feeling when someone compliments you, isn’t it? Correct me if I’m wrong but when you receive a compliment you feel good for a really, really short period of time. Let’s say you were out with friends, someone complimented you and by the time you got home you forgot all about it and started feeling differently. If that sounds all too familiar it’s time you start complimenting yourself. And really mean it.
If you don’t know where to start, start with your personality. So every time you look in the mirror, say something nice to yourself. “You have a really great sense of humour.”, “It’s pretty damn impressive how dedicated you are.”, “You’re a kind, humble person.”, Your optimism is a real gift.”, etc. Once you truly accept all your good personality traits, take it up a notch. Compliment your hair, make-up, lips, your smile, the awesome outfit you put together, that yummy and healthy lunch you made, how productive you were that day, and so on.
Complimenting and taking care of yourself is in no way, shape or form selfish. It is needed, because the more you start loving that person in the mirror, the happier you’ll be. You’ll begin to smile more, your attitude will change, you’ll become a person everyone wants to be around. Your happiness and shine will transfer onto others.
With that said, accept the compliments you receive from others but don’t rely on them to create your happiness.
2. Accept Yourself
You are you and there is nobody else out there like you. Period. It’s a shame we give ourselves such a hard time by thinking we’re not good enough. The thing is, you can’t and never will be perfect. Nobody is. That is something each and every one of us has to accept.
Think of your parents, for example. They’re not perfect, but you love them with all your heart and would give everything for them, right? And how many times have you watched a movie scene where a person would say “I love you with all your flaws and imperfections” to another person. Maybe you even said that to someone in real life.
To sum up, it’s seems so easy loving people we care about and accepting them for who they are. On the other hand, it’s seems like such a hard task accepting ourselves. Luckily, we can treat self-acceptance as a skill that we can practice each day until we get really good at it.
Begin by acknowledging your strengths. On a piece of paper write down the goals you have achieved so far, friendships you made, hard times you’ve overcome and keep that paper close by. Whenever you feel like you’re going down the self-hatred path look at that paper.
Another thing that can help you accept yourself is accepting your mistakes. Mistakes are there to be made and there’s not one person on Earth who hasn’t made a mistake. It’s how we learn, it’s how we become better people.
One of my favourite quotes from dear Adriene is: “Take what you need, leave what you don’t.” Apply that to every situation in your life and watch the magic happen.
3. Form Supportive and Loving Relationships
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
If you think about it, it’s true. You’re influenced by the people you spend the most time with. Unfortunately, most people don’t notice this, don’t pay attention to it but it can have a big impact on your self-love picture.
If you mainly spend time with people who complain, gossip, bring others or even themselves down, you’re bound to feel down, sad and unloved. Furthermore, other people’s toxicity can lead to you being toxic to yourself.
Think about how the people around you make you feel. With all my heart I hope they make you feel good, but if not, it’s time to distance yourself from people who bring your spirit down.
Form relationships with the people you can learn something from, with the people you admire, with people who share the same interests as you. Once you surround yourself with such positive, uplifting, supportive people you’ll begin to feel better about yourself.
4. Practice Being In The Present Moment
“If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.”
I love that quote because it is really important to focus on the present moment. Nothing good can come out of overthinking about the past. The mistakes, the “what if’s”, the things you could have done, etc. The past is the past, it’s done, you can’t change it so either accept it or learn from it.
On the other hand, don’t think about future too much either. Sure it’s okay if you’re looking at a long-term goal and the dreams you want to achieve. But thinking too much about future can make you feel anxious, not ready or worrisome.
Realise that the best gift you have is being in the present moment. Right here, right now is the best time of your life. Appreciate the people in your life, your health, the nature and the opportunity to make each moment precious. For example, next time you go for a walk, think about the sun touching your skin, the ground you walk on, the scenery around you, the quality of air.
Practicing being in the present will help you enjoy moments for what they are, it will bring you peace, awareness and self-awareness. Through the latter you’ll become grateful for the things you can do, the things you have, you’ll become more confident and therefore, you’ll begin to love yourself more.
5. Stay True To Yourself
It all comes down to this – staying true to yourself. Learning to love yourself can sometimes be a pretty long process and that’s why you need to stay true to yourself and do what you said you’ll do.
Remember your goals, your purpose in life and follow it. Accept that there will be obstacles along the way and prepare to crush them. While you’re out there doing you, know that there will be people who won’t like what you’re doing. Simply disregard their opinions about your decisions.
You can’t please everyone and you should never try doing that. Don’t focus on others, what they might think or want from you. Focus on yourself, for that is all that matters.
Take care of yourself and each day do something you really enjoy for at least 20 minutes. Whether that’s reading a book, putting on a face mask, working out, meditating, doing yoga, taking a bath,…
Be mindful in everything you do, take on opportunities that come your way, be kind to yourself and don’t forget to laugh!
Until our next time, you can also read one of the following: